dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
