lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
