i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
