I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
