just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
