He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
