have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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