I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
