Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
