Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
