You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
