she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
