you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
