matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I need a beard to bite.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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