Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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