i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
