she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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