went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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