xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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