Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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