My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
