Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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