beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
