My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
