If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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