I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
