i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
