The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
