she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
