i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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