We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
