What a fucking waste of an outfit
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize