ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
