Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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