i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
