Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
