FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
