We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
