My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
