okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dicks are not precious.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
