I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You're a waste of cheezeits
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
