I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
