Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
