Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
