Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
