we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
