Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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