My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
