I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
