apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
