I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You've changed since you got that strap on
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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